Alone Time with Littles

I can vividly recall the first time that I was left alone at home with Little Mouse.

I was terrified. No, I was BEYOND terrified. I'm reluctant to believe that words can accurately paint a picture of the way I felt in that moment in time. 

Up until that point, Lucas had been with us 24/7, a wonderful perk of a teacher husband and a Summer due date. Even though there were times that there seemed to be nothing we could do to calm our new, screaming bundle of joy, just having my husband there by my side gave me a sense of calm and the confidence I needed to mother our son.

Little Mouse was a very colicky baby (due mostly to his milk protein intolerance, which we didn't discover until later, when he got better - happier - after I cut all dairy out of my diet). If he wasn't sleeping, he was usually crying. Those early days - months, even - were so, so difficult. Add to that the surge of postpartum hormones and outright exhaustion, and you have a recipe for unbridled self-doubt.

I knew that us being alone would happen eventually, but like all things new and scary, I wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

The morning of my first day alone with Little Mouse, Lucas decided he wanted to take his little sister to the library. With two new additions to the family - Little Mouse on July 6th and his cousin Bitty Bear a mere four days later - Luke wanted to make sure she wasn't feeling ignored. With much trepidation, I agreed. And so, at 11am, they left for the library in town, only about a mile or so away from home. 

I held this tiny, 6-day-old human in my arms and smiled as they walked out the door while inside I was shaking and begging him, "DON'T GOOOOOO! PLEEEEASE DON'T GO!". Something was going to go wrong. I just knew it.

I walked into the living room, holding this sweet sleeping bundle in my arms, and sat down in our cozy rocking chair. His eyes popped open. My heart leaped. I said a silent prayer. And miraculously, he did not cry. He just lay there contentedly in my arms, looking around. I turned on some music, sang to him, and videotaped this amazing moment to show Lucas when he got home (I must note that he was equally as shocked!).

Fast-forward to almost 19 months later, and I LOVE my alone time with Little Mouse. He amazes me every day and I am infinitely blessed by being able to stay home with him.

We sign and learn the names of toys and objects around the house.


We play. And play. AND PLAY! 

We take pictures. LOTS of pictures!

He also helps me with laundry...by making me fold it three or four times. Hey, practice makes perfect, right?

And on nicer days (see: not sub-zero temperature) when Daddy gets home from work, we always take a walk to the park as a family. 

So take heart, Mommas. Those early days are rough, and you may likely doubt your abilities, but you CAN do it! Give yourself a little grace and a lot of credit - you are a rock star! 

No...better than a rock star. You are MOM!

And before you know it, your little ones will be toddlers and (believe it or not) you'll be looking back on those early days with fondness. The kind of fondness only rose-colored Mommy glasses can offer.

Until Little Mouse lets me write again...


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