7.01.2013

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen: Boy or Girl?

The decision to be surprised about the gender of Baby D was a no-brainer for me and hubby. Lucky for us, we both have had such a desire to wait until Baby's "birthday" to find out if we have a little "he" or "she" on our hands that our willpower to not be spoiled has been unshakable, even in spite of the many extra sonograms we've had throughout this pregnancy (not electively, mind you).

This decision to be surprised has given way to varied reactions from those around me and, as you may or may not know, everyone tells pregnant ladies exactly what is on their mind. It's almost like they completely lose their filter in some sort of strange bump-related mojo we preggers unwittingly possess during the last several (or should I say "more obvious" and/or "less pukey") months of pregnancy.

Usually the younger crowd is SOOOOOO confused...
Kid: "YAY! You're going to have a baby!"
Me: "Yep! He or she is going to be here soon! And I can't wait because my belly is so big! Isn't it?"
Kid:  "Hahaha! Yeah! Hey, my belly got really big once when I ate too much and then went swimming and it hurt!"

Me:  "Really? That sounds no fun! What made you feel better?"
Kid:  "I don't remember. Hey, is your baby a boy or a girl!?"

Me:  "We'll have to wait and see!"
Kid:  "You don't know yet?! But you're so big!"
Me:  "I know! But we're going to be surprised!"
Kid:  "But you're so big!"
Me:  "Well, when you get this big, you can find out if it's a boy or a girl, or you can wait until Baby's 'birthday,' and we are going to wait because it's more fun that way!"
Kid:  *quietly stares at belly*

Me:  "What do you think Baby is?"
Kid:  *more serious* "But...you're SO. BIG."
So kids invariably think that once you reach a certain size (somewhere between 'basketball' and 'beached whale,' apparently), you just know in your brain what the gender of your baby is.

The senior bunch is generally very approving, all while not losing that hypercritical edge they've perfected ("And earned the right to use!!") over the decades...
Senior:  "Well, aren't you about ready to pop!"
Me:  "July 13th, on or about!"
Senior:  "How exciting! Is this your first?"
Me:  "Yes, it's my and my husband's first!"

Senior:  "Oh, how wonderful! Boy or girl?"
Me:  "We want to be surprised, so we're waiting to find out! We'll see soon enough!!"

Senior:  "Oh, well there you go! Good for you - GOOD for you! That's the way to do it..."
...and then they usually recount their experience with being surprised because of the lack of technology "back in the day" and contrast it with their daughter-in-law's insistence I knowing right away but having everyone continue calling the baby by the "womb name" instead of the name they had picked out for her because they didn't want anyone knowing the name, but why would they keep that the big secret instead of the gender, which is much more exciting and spectacular and the name they chose is a joke anyway - Brooxten Lillia - I mean, REALLY?! and it's not even a family name and if she had just told us the name she had chosen, we would have warned her it was terrible, but... (aaand you get the picture).

The middle-aged populace tries very hard to relate to every answer you give in their fact-seeking quest with you, a pregnant stranger with whom they have almost nothing in common apart from the fact that you're both apparently fertile females.  They do this even if their experience was completely opposite, which is usually the case when it comes to finding out the gender of your unborn child...
Stranger:  "Oooooooh! How cute! You're just all Baby, aren't you?! I wish my kids have been that forgiving on my body!"
Me:  "Aw, thank you! But you look great!"
Stranger:  "Oh, well, not when I was nine months pregnant!"
Me:  "Awww, no, I think pregnancy is beautiful, stretch marks and all."

Stranger:  "It is! It. Is. Sooooo, when are we duuuuuue?"
Me:  "July 13th, but we'll see what Baby has planned!"
Stranger:  "I went late with ALL THREE of mine!" *INSERT COLORFUL BIRTHING HORROR STORY HERE*

Me:  "Wow!" (screaming internally)
Stranger:  "Sooooo, pink or bluuuuuue?!"
Me:  "Well, it's my and my husband's first, so we decided to be surprised about Baby's gender!"
Stranger:  "OH MY GOSH! I could NEVER do that! I just NEEDED to know! My husband wanted to be surprised, but I was like, 'Honeyyyyy? We NEED to paint the nursery and get all the necessitiiiiiiies!' Ugh, he just didn't get it, you know?! Oh, but it was SO essential for us to know so we could prepare. I don't think I know anyone who's held out the whole nine months! *beat* Wow. I just don't know how you do it! Well, good for you! Good luck!"
Good luck? Like... "WOOPS! Your Baby may come out with the wrong parts if you don't find out ahead of time if it's a boy or a girl!" ?

But by far my most favorite part of not knowing the gender is having people guess.  
And I'm not being sarcastic at all here (for once)! I really do enjoy having people size me up and give me their best estimate, because usually, they all conflict with each other!
Stranger #1:  "Oh, you're carrying low - definitely boy!"
     Then, five minutes later...
Stranger #2:  "Oh, you're carrying low - must be a girl!"

Most of the time, I just go along with it, but hubby just can't let it slide!  So we stand in the supermarket for a few minutes as he tries to jokingly set them straight and it. Is. HILARIOUS!  By and large, people have been overwhelmingly complimentary and kind as I've gotten larger; strangers let us go ahead of them to order at restaurants, restaurant workers slide us free food or drinks with knowing winks, and people who I imagine are generally perturbed at having to wait in line at stores make nice little chit-chat with us. I've always tried to be friendly with people, but being pregnant has really opened the floodgates to giving us opportunities to make people's days. It's like I carry around a little burst of sunshine under my shirt that can't help but make people smile. I sincerely hope that is a sign of this child's future (and temperment!).

SO...we've been about 50/50 on guesses so far, and seeing as how everyone has a 50% chance of being right, I'm going to guess it's going to either be a boy or a girl. HA! Seriously, though, my intuition all along has been undoubtedly BOY.  Add the great Mr. Marshall's prediction of "boy" to that overwhelming Motherly Instinct, and I'm pretty sure we've got a little Doremus Dude in there. We will be seeing soon enough!

Then again...my first kiss ever was with a boy who, after the smooch, confessed that he "just wanted to make sure he really was gay," so if my 'Gender-dar' is anything like my 'Gaydar,' I could be horribly, horribly wrong.








P.S.  Best experience so far: I recently got a free cookie the size of my head after talking with a very sweet restaurant worker about how hubby and I are being surprised. So, if you're on the fence about finding out, bear in mind you may get a FREE, GIIIIIIIAAAAANNNTT cookie out of it. In the third trimester, that's sort of a big deal. Just sayin'.

1 comment:

  1. Very sweet post, Sarah!!! Baby D is so very blessed to have you and Lucas--and all the love you have to give. Your pictures have been so beautiful--what a wonderful gift for your child to enjoy later!! What special, special people you are and very dear to me. Had the pleasure of doing some sitting for Cody & Luke as wee ones. Great memories. God bless all three of you and I can't wait for the surprise. Clay & Jane's birthday is the 12th!!! Love, Aunt Peg

    ReplyDelete